Amenorrehea

Okay the last day at work couldve gone a lot better but thankfully it is over finally. I have been feeling ignored by my dad lately alot, feeling like he doesnt actually wanna be my dad any more. Now that I am 21 it feels like he has decided to jsut stop being my dad.

But I will not dwell on the bad feelings. I have a few medical updates too today.

For the past six years of my life I have been in and out of hospital seeing various doctors about my absent periods. Recently I have been told that I have a cut in the passage between my anal hole and my vagina, it is a cut witihn an opening. I always used to say that i was plumbed up wrong, but never did i thinkt hat blood would actually come out the rong way shall we say! I am still waiting to have my own period and waiting on an appointment at Leeds General to come through in the post. The fact that I dont have periods is constantly on my mind and I jsut fail to feel feminine at all. When I see other girls in the loos complaining about periods it does my tree in that they hate getting them when all I wish is to see blood on my knickers sometimes!!!

I am looking forward to strarting mynew job tomorrow but have money worries too at the moment. I am back living with Ben but living at my mums for part of the week whislt at work. I am feeling overwhelmed by the world at the moment but i know i will get hrough everything.

Love Louise-anne